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A Post-Holiday Weekend Email

Category : Ex-Spouse, Holidays

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday weekend.  I feel that Spring has finally sprung and is in full effect!  I got this email from a reader yesterday that I wanted to share with you as well as my response.

 Dear Lois,

Just had an interesting holiday weekend that I wanted to share with you. I have been divorced for eight years and have been dating the same woman exclusively for almost a year. My ex-wife and I have become friends since our divorce. This is nothing that I expected to happen. But we have a son together and we enjoy each others company as friends and parents.  She is remarried and had invited me to her home in Northern California for the Easter weekend. I invited my girlfriend and it proved to be a mistake. While she was cordial in front of my wife, she read me the riot act for the entire three hour drive home. She said she thinks it’s weird that my ex  are friends and so close after our divorce. Even though my ex is remarried, my girlfriend thinks we might end up back together again. She said she will not go with me to any more events that my ex will be present at as she does not condone the closeless that we have. Granted I am eighteen years older than my girlfriend, but I thought this was very immature on her part. I have strong feelings for my girlfriend.  On the other hand, I like the relationship I have with my wife. How do you suggest I proceed? Or should I just proceed with breaking up with her? Thanks.

Mike 

Hi Mike,

I am sorry about the ride home. I am sure you wanted to be anywhere than in that car with your girlfriend  for the three hour ride home (which probably felt like eight). While I wasn’t there and don’t know how you were acting with your ex-wife in front of your girlfriend, it does sound like your girlfriend may be  a bit insecure. I am sure your intentions are friendship and wanting the best for your son. If you are not going to budge on your relationship (which sounds like it is really a great one for your child) I would suggest attending couples counseling with your girlfriend to discuss this. If she can’t understand that life goes on after a divorce then you may want the leave your current relationship. You need to find someone who understands that you had a life before you met them and a responsibility to keep things peaceful and joyous for your son. She has to have trust and faith like the eggs pictures above!

Lois  

Comments (1)

Great response to Mike. And remember, an 18 year gap in age is almost a generation. It’s almost like dating one’s daughter…

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