Sometime people get married, trying very hard to make it work and it just doesn’t. They try therapy. They try a vacation together. They try everything they can! In the end, the couple both realized it’s best to move on. This seems like a normal scenario in America. Imagine being in a country where this isn’t a possiblity. There are three places in the world where divorce is actually illegal. Yes, ILLEGAL. Those places are Malta, The Philippines and the Vatican City.
I can’t imagine what anyone would do under those circumstances. In those three places it truly is ”till death do us part!” I assume that one would make sure they are REALLY right for their partner before they go down the aisle. There are no drunk nights and getting married by mistake like in Vegas. Sure this kind of lifestyle would cut down on divorce, but nobody deserves to continue to be unhappy if they have a choice. This isn’t robbing a bank…it’s getting divorced! Sure people leave marriages too quickly in our society. But I think most everybody would find it extremely difficult to live as an adult in a society without the option. What is worse? Going to jail for divorce or being forced to stay in a terrible marriage, which can feel like jail? Is there a divorce jail in those countries? Should divorce be legal everywhere in the world?
Category : Internet, News
Imagine being forced by a judge to apologize to your entranged wife or husband on Facebook every day for a month. That’s what happened to Mark Byron to avoid going to jail for 60 days for voilating a protection order.
Byron says it was his frustration over his upcoming divorce and child visitation that drove him to post comments on his Facebook page back at the end of 2011. His wife was blocked from his Facebook page, but saw a picture and read comments from friends regardless. Court documents allege Byron’s comments were intended to be mentally abusive, harassing and annoying.
“I just went on Facebook to vent,” Byron said. “I liken it to having a drink in a bar with a friend and telling them how I feel. It’s just that on Facebook you do it on a much larger scale and people that are interested in talking to me about it can say something and those who are not interested ignore it.”
The judge ruled the facebook comments violated a civil protection order against him. Do you feel this is a voilation of Freedom of speech? Will this change the way social media will be used during a divorce?
If you’ve just got divorced, it probably feels like a brand new world is right front of you. Some divorcees say that they find it to be overwheling to navigate at times. Fear often holds us back from the new life we deserve. And when divorcees feel scrared and uncertain, they can often fall into what I like to call the Five Divorcee Traps:
Divorcee Trap #1: Second Guessing – If you’re thinking to yourself, “Maybe I should have given it another shot,” don’t be. No need to second guess yourself. Be strong and confident in your decision to move on. I bet you gave it your very best shot (countless times). Sometimes if it’s broke, you just CAN’T fix it.
Divorcee Trap #2: Love Bites – Don’t be down on love. We all tend to be right after we get hurt in our last relationship. Stay positive in the love department. Your wounds will heal. Love comes when you least expect it, so keep your mind and heart open to it.
Divorcee Trap #3: Blame – Many divorcee’s blame themselves for the breakup. I am here to tell you that there is no need to play that game. Everyone has some degree of blame in a breakup. But if he tries to pack all the guilt on you don’t buy into it. Blame will just slow you down and you should be moving forward in a new way.
Divorcee Trap #4: Bounce Back – Many divorcees feel daunted by the thought of bouncing back — getting their body in shape, getting out of debt, etc. Be sure that you will bounce back, bigger and better than ever. You’re the only one standing in your way.
Divorcee Trap #5: Afraid To Take Chances: When you’re used to being in a relationship divorcees can often be afraid to take chances, especially now as a single woman. Don’t be scared because fear will get you nowhere. It’s been said that “The greatest risk is not taking one.”
What are some Divorcee Traps that you have fallen into?
If you want to feel really empowered, run or walk a marathon. I’m pretty much of a couch potato, but lately have been trying to become more physically active — working out, walking, you know the drill. Another year, another opportunity to start moving. After about a month of walking most days, I decided to sign up for a 5K walk –not run — but a “walk.” Yikes, what did I sign up for? I immediatley thought. Fortunately a friend of mine was in town and she volunteered to walk with me. Ah, always good to have a partner in crime (crime being to stop at a starbucks while on the walk).
Well the day approached. My alarm clock went off at 6am. I was so anxious that I hardly slept the night before. I was really wondering if I could actually do this. I had climbed mountains — well, mountains with steps — and flown all over the place. But this was testing my stamina and stick-to-it-ive-ness, much different than everything I had ever done. I got up, looked outside and the morning dawned clear and beautiful. A little cloud cover, but that was good. It definitely wouldn’t get to hot.
Off I went, picked up my friend, and we headed to the sign-in location. We got a number…now it was official! The bull horn sounded and we started to walk. It looked like the turnaround spot was about 100 miles away. I walked and walked. We finally hit the turnaround spot, then the long walk back. Oh my, I actually saw the finish line (and didn’t stop at Starbucks).
I had done it! Not to toot my own horn, but I had done it in under an hour. My arms went up over my head involuntarily, I felt like Rocky when he climbed the steps in Philadelphia. Folks there is nothing I can’t do. I am woman, hear me roar! All I can say is the feeling of euphoria and exhilaration, and the sense that, yes I can do anything is awesome. Try it…not only are you raising money for a good cause, you are raising your ego for your cause.
Happy Valentine’s Day! I have written an article for The Huffington Post entitled, “Divorced, But Loving Valentine’s Day.” Spread the love by clicking here.
Balancing your new life after a divorce is so important. When you’re going through the divorce, you’re usually about as balanced as an earthquake. However, when you get past it all, you need to put your best foot forward and try not to fall because life can certainly be a high wire act!
Many people complain that their marriage didn’t have the right balance to it. That their relationship became about business instead of remaining a mixture of both work and love. That both spouses were all about the kids and they never spent time with just each other. That one spouse was working all of the time and the other one was home waiting. Life isn’t easy and balance is often a difficult thing to maintain. I try every day to balance it all and it’s never an easy task. I suggest creating more balance in your life.
If you’re still married, then you definitely need to focus on balance. If you’re divorced and starting a new life, try your very best to balance all that is new and being put in front of you.
*Balance your role as single mother and single woman on the dating scene.
*Balance being a working professional and someone who also likes to have a good time.
*Balance driving the children to soccer practice and getting some “me” time.
*Balance your family life and your life with your closest friends.
*Balance a healthy diet with letting go once in a while.
It’s been reported that Seal and Heidi Klum are still wearing their wedding bands, even though she filed for divorce…hmmm.
Many believe that the star couple is still wearing their bands because reconciliation could possibly be in the works! Heidi recently told InStyle UK (on stands in March). “I don’t know why we work, my husband and I. We just do. We are black and white -– yin and yang. To me, his beautiful face, great body, amazing heart, voice, his ability to be a loving, caring person and father … what can I say?” Why don’t you say that you’re not getting a divorce! Sure you never know what’s really going on in a celeb marriage, but they certainly seemed so happy before all of this divorce drama. Maybe they can give this another try. Sometimes a break is what a couple needs to put things back into prospective and realize that maybe they can give it another shot. It would be great if they could get make things work again. Instead of celebrity marriages just ending with a bitter divorce, Heidi and Seal could be one of the very first couples in Hollywood history to actually get back together again! Seal has been out promoting his new album and has nothing but nice things to say about his wife. She couldn’t seem to stop gushing prior to filing.
What is your take on this? What do you think is going to happen?
I am not a huge football fan, but I couldn’t help take notice of some statistics that would make anybody surprised. No these statistics are not touch downs and interceptions by your favorite players. These stats are about divorce in the NFL. It was reported that 60 to 80% of NFL football players marriages will end.
New York Jet James Dearth said, “What football players go through in their careers can affect their marriages. They endure more physical pain than most other professional athletes. They play an aggressive game with non-guaranteed contracts and have the shortest average career in sports.”
It seems that their sports celebrity status offers them distractions that other men in different careers may not face. These players are young and thrown into a career with a lot of pressure and fame. Also, with constant traveling to other cities comes female groupies. They say the retirement process is just as hard for the players. Another staggering statistic was that within just two years of retirement 78% of players in the NFL end up jobless, bankrupt or divorced. I hope these stats change and the players look at the big picture. They have a unique talent and opportunity and they need to use it to help themselves, their family and others.
What can these athletes and celebrities do to change this?