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Separation Anxiety

Category : Separation

It was sad to hear that actress Melissa Gilbert has filed for divorce from fellow actor Bruce Boxleitner after 16 years of marriage.  The former “Little House on the Prairie” star cited “irreconcilable differences.” The couple had been separated since January.

This brought up an interesting question.  Do you think that a separation prior to divorce can help you better decide if you should split? Separation can give you both a moment to see what it would be like if you were, in fact, divorced. Sure, it’s not the full spectrum and if you have children together you may see each other more during the separation, but one would think that it’s worth a shot before you go all the way.  You could meet with a  therapist once a week and see how each of you are progressing during the split.  It can also help you collect your thoughts and see if you actually miss your spouse.  On the other hand, I have heard of some people who do not believe in separation.  They feel that if they are going to pack their bags and leave the house, then they will be leaving for good.

What do you think, is it healthy to separate or do you go for the full divorce?

The Cheat Sheet

Category : Cheating

Head over to SheKnows.com to see my latest article about your spouse cheating.  I offer-up a “cheat sheet” to help you figure out if your significant other is seeing another.  To read the article and get all of the info click here.

Up The Aisle

Category : Divorce Day, Divorce Ritual

At a recent divorce party, I incorporated one of my favorite Divorce Rituals entitled, “Up The Aisle” (pictured above). We all remember the walk we made down the aisle on our wedding day. It was an important first step in entering a brand new life.  Now that you’re ending your marriage, I propose (no pun intended) taking a walk down the aisle again. But this time go backwards!

This ritual is like hitting the rewind button on the movie of your married life.  You are going backwards from your old life, moving forward into your new one!  It’s time to ceremoniously undo the marriage and close that door behind you.  If you got married in a church, go back to where it all began and end it once and for all. Or, you can simply set-up an aisle in your living room or in your back yard. The point of this ritual isn’t the location that you choose. It’s about healing and moving on. Wherever you do this healing ritual, it’s sure to be a therapeutic stroll up the aisle the second time around. Also, this time you won’t have all that rice stuck in your hair or have to avoid tripping on the train of your wedding dress. Things are looking up already!

Children and Divorce

Category : Celebrity, Children

 

One of the biggest casualites that are sometimes forgotten about during the divorce process are the children.  The kids were there for it all, especially the fighting that happens pre-divorce as well as during and post.  The oldest daughter of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, Katherine (pictured above),  is in the media as of late speaking about her parents failed marriage after 25 years together.  She has been quiet, but broke that silence Harpers Bazaar and was very open about her feelings.

“Me and my siblings have never really been in the spotlight growing up,” she told the magazine. “My parents always really sheltered us, so when [the separation] started happening, it was like everything came out of nowhere overnight.”

She says the media backlash began shortly after. “I would go out to lunch, and literally 20 people would come and scream at me. And I’m like, this is so inappropriate; you’re trying to provoke me to have an attack and say something crazy.”

She spent time in London to escape the scandal where the split wasn’t as big of a deal. Still, she says she doesn’t pay any attention to tabloids. “I see them, but I choose not to read the stories because I figure whether it’s true or not, I don’t need to,” she explained. “I just focus on my family and everyone being okay instead of following the gossip.”

Katherine goes on to say that, “I really do believe everything happens for a reason.  A lot of the time, it’s hard to understand in the moment why things are happening, but I really do think that. I also like to think God doesn’t really give you anything you can’t handle.”

It’s hard on normal families, I can’t imagine one that is in the spotlight like they are.  What do you feel parents can do — or, don’t do –  to make the divorce process as easy as possible for their children?  Share some of your ideas.

Quote of the Day

Category : Quote Of The Day

“Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.” — Leonardo Di Vinci

Cutting The Ties From Your Marriage

Category : Divorce Ritual, Ex-Spouse, Friends and Divorce, Moving On


In any relationship, we are left with ties that we need to untie, especially a marriage. From bills to insurance to your “in case of emergency” person, it often feels endless. However, there are some other ties that are fun to cut that have nothing to do with paperwork. At a recent divorce party that I threw, I brought in one of my “divorce rituals” that the ladies loved! It’s called “Cutting the Ties That Bind.”

Step 1: Get as many suit ties as the years that you were married. You can order some online for a couple of dollars each. If your ex left some of his clothes behind to pick up at a later date, cutting his Louis Vuitton ties is not a good idea.

Step 2: Have a pair of hedgeclippers. Put on a bow on the end of the handle to make it festive!

Step 3: Recruit two of your BFF’s and have them hold each end of the tie and stretch it out.

Step 4: This is the fun part….cut the ties right down the middle. One after another for all of the years you spend married to your ex.

Step 5: Have your friends be the clean-up crew and ask them to pick up the pieces of the ties because you are done picking up the pieces of your marriage.

Rearrange Your Life And Furniture

Category : Home, Redecorating

If you been through a divorce and decided to keep and live in the marital residence, it’s often not easy at first. Many can’t afford a complete home makeover and feel a bit uncomfortable in the same house now that they are alone. It’s important to change things around a bit and there are lots of ways that don’t cost any money.

You have rearranged your life by getting a divorce, so it would be great to rearrange your furniture as well! It’s a simple, cost-effective and positive way to get some new atmosphere going in your dwelling. Moving things from one room to another and switching the position of the couch and the television can really do a lot to make you feel like the home is yours and you’re moving on.

The folks over at apartmenttherapy.com had some great tips for rearranging your furniture:

Have a friend help. It makes moving heavy pieces a lot easier, it provides you with a second opinion, and it gives you the energy to keep going.

Map out ideas with a sketch or a free online program (like this Arrange-a-Room planer).

Have a plan, but don’t be afraid to change it. We never know what something’s going to look like until we see it in place.

Use your largest pieces as anchors for the space. Move sofas, large tables, and large storage pieces first and rearrange your smaller furniture around them.

Clear out space. If an arrangement isn’t working, try removing one or two pieces of furniture. Many people have too much furniture, and by taking a big item out of the equation you can open up a whole new set of possibilities.

Don’t be afraid of empty space. If you really need a new piece to make your furniture arrangement work, leave that space empty for a little while, and take some time to find the right item.

A Not-So Jolly Divorce In Jolly Ol’ England

Category : Global Divorce, World Divorce

Divorce can be just as nasty on the other side of the pond. Sir Nicholas Mostyn, a former powerful divorce attorney and now a well-known judge in England and Wales, says to have gotten an order to stop his wife Lucy from speaking in the press about their break-up. Nicholas left Lucy for another woman and she wants to speak her mind. She has not backed down and proclaimed to her friends that is was “pathetic bullying.”

The even more interesting part is that Sir Nicholas Mostyn’s lawyers are refusing to say which court granted the order, or give any detail of its terms. Nicholas, 54, is no stranger to prolific divorces, with past clients such as Sir Paul McCartney. In fact, he has the nickname Mr Payout because of the large sums he won for many wives over the years.

This got me thinking about the divorce rate in England. Interestingly, the divorce rate in England and Wales have fallen to their lowest in 32 years, detailed in recent statistics by the Office of National Statistics. Hmmm, maybe men are were afraid of having their wives represented by “Mr. Payout?”

Nobody likes being on the other side of the fence, especially a divorce attorney as powerful as Nicholas. Do you think Lucy has a right to speak her mind? Will it help her or hurt her in court?


The Divorce Day Cut

Category : Beauty, Healing

Once you say goodbye to your marriage, it might also be time to say goodbye to your old hairstyle. Something new and a relaxing afternoon of some pampering at your favorite salon will certainly help cure the breakup blues.

If you are looking to get a “divorce day cut,” now is the perfect time. Summer is going to be over in a few weeks and Fall will be upon us. Heading into a new season with a new style is always good timing for any daring cut. One divorce cut that is has made a comeback and seems here to stay is the bob. Now, if you divorced a guy named Bob and it hits too close to home then I understand if you pass on it. But for the rest of you, it is a classic yet trendy style to go for!

Is a bob cut good for you? It shows off your jaw line and neck, so take that into consideration. You can go longer or shorter with it depending on your features and what look you want to go for. Here’s a few options below.

Whatever hairstyle you decide to choose, just treat yourself to a new divorce day cut! You deserve it.

Jennifer Aniston’s Shoulder Length Bob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ellen Barkin’s Short Bob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keira Knightley’s Messy Bob

Six Important Lessons To Avoid Divorce

Category : Celebrity, Favorite Articles, Lessons

 

http://stardomreport.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Jennifer-Lopez-Marc-Anthony.jpg

Everyone has been covering the Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony split. As far as celebrity and divorce, it’s a major happening. While I haven’t covered it yet because I figured you have heard enough just like I have, there was one article written by Stu Gray that I thought was well done. He covers the six love lessons to take away from the J-Lo and Anthony divorce. Gray feels there is something new to learn from this split.

Here are some of his lessons from that article:

1. Know that the seven year mark is a difficult time. Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony were married seven years. Experts say that the 7 to 10 year mark is the time when many people start to think about jumping out of marriages. This was true in my own marriage. About 7 years in, I began searching for what could make my marriage better, thankfully, instead of deciding to give up. I decided to improve what we had. Know that these periods of time are going to come, and they are also going to pass. If you keep working on your marriage, and not looking for ways to eject from it, you will come out better on the other side.

2. A marriage isn’t a business deal. I don’t know all the details of the Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez marriage, and I don’t want to be too judgmental. But I do know that they are both very business savvy and make lots of money doing what they do. In reading about their split, I was reminded that there is always more than money at stake and “who gets what” when a marriage breaks up. Something does happen to the children. Even if the breakup is amicable, there will always be emotional scars. Talk to kids whose parents have been divorced. Even if the breakup was cordial, most will tell you that they wish it wouldn’t have happened.

For the entire list click here.