“I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed too – for being married so many times.” — Elizabeth Taylor
In a recent interview Donald Trump spoke about his previous divorces and said that his marriages dissolved due to his strong work ethic. “One of the reasons I was divorced is because I worked very hard… And, you know, that’s a good reason. But I worked very, very hard building up a great company.”
These days with the economy in crisis, people are working harder and longer hours than ever. Is this going to take a toll on marriages? Will the divorce rate continue to rise? I think it’s important to keep marriages going by spending time with your spouse. And not just time…but QUALITY time. Whether it’s going out to a movie, having a glass of wine or going for a walk, it’s important to hold hands and make eye contact. Really connecting emotionally is key. Also, turn off your cell phone! Forget about business for a couple of hours. Be present in your spouse’s company. They will feel special because a little truly does go a long way.
Donald Trump seems very happy with his current wife Melania. In fact, I’m sure he feels it’s his most important merger!
According to their website, “Facebook helps you connect and share with the people in your life.” But does it also help you connect with a divorce lawyer and share your assets with your spouse?
Facebook and divorce has been in the media these days. According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, fully 20% of divorces now involve Facebook in some way, and 80% of divorce lawyers say they have seen an increase in the number of divorces involving social media. From photos to wall posts to status updates, it seems it could be evidence of someone living a life that their spouse may not really know about. I guess next time you get a friend request from your old high school boyfriend or girlfriend, you should think twice before accepting.
The Wall Street Journal offers an interesting article about this. Here are some highlights from the article below:
Some lawyers do say that they see Facebook playing a bigger role in divorce these days, that doesn’t mean the site destroys marriages. “People have met online for years,” said Randall M. Kessler, chair-elect of the family-law section of the American Bar Association. “Using the Internet to create relationships is not anything new. It predates Facebook.”
Kessler added that Facebook’s role isn’t always one of instigating infidelity; it can also reveal it. “While most photos are innocent, a photo of a spouse having a good time with someone other than their own spouse, is truly worth a thousand words,” Kessler wrote in an email. “Sometimes these photos are on friends of the paramour’s Facebook account since these people often don’t realize their friend (the paramour) is dating someone who is actually married. So they innocently post photos. And the paramour is often embarrassed that their boyfriend or girlfriend is married, so they often don’t tell their friends about their partner’s marital status.”
Also, Facebook’s role can be unrelated to affairs. “Clients are interested to see their ex’s new purchases, or fancy vacations they discuss on Facebook when during the divorce they claimed they were broke,” Kessler said. Added Margaret Cleek, professor of human resources management at Sacramento State, “I would not know the statistics, but I would assume that the issue re divorce is that Facebook and Facebook interactions appear to a spouse to be more important than the real relationship with them as a flesh-and-blood spouse.” It’s no different, she said, “than the spouse who prefers the bar, porn, or golf to participating in the relationship. No one likes to be second fiddle in a relationship.”
What do you think about Facebook and other online social media sites affecting the divorce rate?
While women GI’s bravely fight overseas, they also have to fight a war at home. According to new statistics, women enlisted are three times more likely to get a divorce from their spouse than men. in 2o10, 7.8% of women in the military got a divorce compared to 3% for men.
According to the Associated Press, “Why military women are more burdened by divorce is unclear, although societal pressure is likely a factor.”
David Segal, director of the Center for Research on Military Organization at the University of Maryland, said,“There’s a fair amount of equality in terms of their military roles, but as the military increasingly treats women the same as it treats men in terms of their work expectations, however, society still expects them to fulfill their family roles. And that’s not equally balanced between men and women,”
So why do you think there is a higher divorce rate for women in the service? Do you think the men are filing first? Do men not have the ability to stick with a marriage when their wife is overseas? Are they more needy than women?
It was recently announced that Tony Danza filed for divorce after 24 years of marriage. In the reports, it said that he and his wife Tracy were separated since 2006. This is the second divorce for Danza.
After five years of separation, I wonder what made them finally end it? Were they in counseling during this time? Were they trying to make it work for their children? Either way, it’s sad to see another Hollywood marriage end. Although I have never met Danza, he seems like a nice man. And who didn’t like “Who’s The Boss?”
This recent divorce made me think about all of the solid Hollywood marriages that are still going strong. (Glass half full!) I thought of Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Alan Alda and his wife Arlene, Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan, Kevin Kline and Pheobe Cates, Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara. There are still many positive unions. What long-lasting celeb marriages come to your mind?
The bed has always been considered a very sacred place during a marriage. During your union, it was a place of rest (among other things). If you ended up getting the bed during the split, what do you do with the sheets?
A fabulous divorce ritual is getting rid of all of the old sheets from your old marriage. The bed is now yours and there’s nothing like spreading out on some fresh sheets and enjoying all of the new space you have again! Plus, you know when you’re on a business trip and can’t wait to get home into your own bed. Well, it is the same feeling after a divorce. Bringing in some new sheets is that first step to feeling like it’s your own bed again!
A friend asked me what she should do with the old sheets? Good question. How about throwing them in the garbage. They also can be useful to keep a bonfire going. How about cutting each sheet up into a big heart for loving yourself for getting through your divorce?
Start your new life with new sheets! Choose the color you want, the design you desire, and enjoy the freshness of a brand new set. Ah, a good night’s rest is a great way to start the single life! Sweet dreams
A divorce is one of the most stressful things a person can go through in their life. Studies have shown that whenever you get stressed or upset, you actually release certain chemicals that are toxins into your own body.
It’s essential to keep your stress levels down during the divorce. Remember, it’s going to be what it’s going to be, so no need to continually upset yourself. You have to let go of the divorce as much as you can. Below, I have some relaxing things to do that will not only help you stay zen, but also sane.
*Going for a thirty minute walk can do wonders. It will not only help with stress, but it will also clear your mind.
*Sign up for a yoga class. Not only will you be taking care of your body and keeping your muscles loose and limber, but you may even meet some new and interesting people who care about health and feeling good. There are many free classes offered, just look online in your area.
*Closing your eyes and meditating can really help get you centered. Just take twenty minutes out of your day and afterwards all that bothered you will magically seem a lot less important.
*A massage is a great way to relieve some pesky stress. If you can’t afford a massage just take a moment to close your eyes and rub your own temples or massage your own ear lobes. A little can go a long way.
*Take 30 minutes out of your day to shut off your phone and TV and do something you enjoy in peace in quiet, whether it be knitting, writing or reading a book.
*There is nothing like a relaxing bubble bath with dim lights and a candle. It’s time to soak your worries away!
Maybe your divorce is finally final. Or, maybe it’s about to be final. Either way, you are hopefully moving on both physically, mentally and emotionally. One of the aspects of moving on is doing something with all of the photos that still might be floating around the house. That photo of you and your ex in Cancun on the fridge seems a bit counterproductive at this point, right? So what do you do with all of these photographs that have been collected over the years?
You are now free to take the photos down and either burn them or throw them out or put them in a box tucked way in the back of your closet. However, if you have children together with your ex-spouse, throwing the photos away could be a real problem. Perhaps, you should allow the children put the family photos that they like in their own room. When you clean their room, you will have to be strong when you go in there and see them. But you need to realize that it’s not just about you and your ex. It’s about the kids and photos bring them happy memories.