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2010 Celebrity Divorces

Category : Break-Up, Celebrity, Divorce Party

Unfortunately, marriages can’t seem to last in Hollywood. And even though you know divorce is almost inevitable in tinseltown, they still seem to shock you when they occur.

There were definitely some surprising ones this year. Below are some of Hollywood’s 2010 divorces. What one do you feel was the most surprising? Also, check back soon as we will be discussing some useful “divorce party” tips in the new year. I think Sandra Bullock deserves a divorce party, don’t you?!

*Sandra Bullock & Jesse James

*LeAnn Rimes & Dean Shereme

*Scarlett Johansson & Ryan Reynolds

*Eva Longoria & Tony Parker

*Shania Twain & Robert Lange

*Tiger & Elin Woods

*Kate Winslet & Sam Mendes

*Al & Tipper Gore

*Christina Aguilera & Jordan Bratman

*Kelsey and Camille Grammer

*Michael C. Hall & Jennifer Carpenter

Getting Through The Holidays

Category : Ex-Spouse, Healing, Holidays

Tis the season to get back into shape, right? The other afternoon I was working out with my trainer trying to get a head start on 2011. In between sets and while trying to catch my breath (OK, I was stalling), I asked him what his plans were for the holidays.

He told me that he was recently separated and finalizing a divorce. With Christmas just a few weeks away, he mentioned how lonely he was beginning to feel and how difficult going through the holidays would be without his wife.

I said, “For the past year, you have been telling me about how your soon-to-be ex and you only saw each other when you were passing in the hallway. Now, you are feeling like you are going to be missing out on some family time with her over the holidays. Whoa, your family hasn’t been a family for quite a long time.”

I told him to stop looking at the glass of eggnog as half empty and to start looking at the glass as half full. Hey, he motivates me in the gym, so it was time for me to motivate him about divorce! “Just think, this Christmas you can do exactly what you want,” I said. “You can get together with any friends you like. You can go see a movie…or 3 in one day! Or, you can just stay in bed and eat potato chips. You can start a whole new tradition! ” As I came up from another stomach crunch, I saw a smile come across his face.

If this is your first holiday divorced or separated, I suggest making it your best ever. Sure, it’s hard to make new traditions, but you can do it. Enjoy!

A “New” New Year’s Eve

Category : Holidays

I just got a “New Year’s 911 call” from a friend of mine who recently got divorced and is spending her first New Year’s Eve single in 14 years. She was upset about not having her ex-husband by her side when midnight hits. “By your side?” I asked, confused. “You couldn’t stand being next to him for more than five minutes during the last five years of your marriage and now you miss being next to him?!”

She immediately laughed, probably realizing how ridiculous it all sounded. Then, I told her that while holiday’s are an adjustment after a divorce, she needed to think about how positive it is to be moving on to a whole new life this New Year’s Eve.

If you’re newly single this upcoming New Year’s Eve could be your best ever. There’s so much fun you can have! What can you do on New Year’s Eve now that you’re single? Here are my top five ideas:

*Do a “me” day, which consists of a massage and a mani/pedi. (Is there anything better in life?)

*Throw a “singles” New Year’s Eve party. Invite all of your single friends over and ask them to each bring a single friend. (This could get interesting once midnight hits!)

*Go out to dinner with your girlfriends. Toast to the single life! (Don’t blame me for the hangover.)

*Book a trip for an island getaway vacation. The best online deals for traveling are offered last minute. (No need to thank me when the hot lifeguard is rubbing suntan lotion on you.)

*Kiss anyone you want when midnight hits! (And the rest of the night…wink.)

Home Alone For The Holidays

Category : Holidays

It’s been said, “There’s No Place Like Home For The Holidays.” How about being home alone? We often think of being alone as being lonely. But it doesn’t have to be. If you were recently divorced and this is your first holiday season single, being alone might just be the perfect holiday gift you can give yourself. Here are my top ten reasons of why.

1) When you’re alone there’s no back and forth with your spouse about making holiday plans. For the first time in a long time you can do whatever you want!

2) Some of the best adventures happen when you’re alone. Look how much fun Macaulay Culkin had in the movie Home Alone.

3) You can reflect on what you’re going to do for the upcoming new year.

4) “It’s the holidays!” is the best excuse to eat whatever you want. Think of it as your “get out of jail free” food card.

5) You can wear your Christmas pajamas all day long!

6) You’re never really alone with Facebook. Start your own cyber holiday traditions.

7) It’s economical because there’s no gift giving.

8) You can eat all of the cookies you leave for Santa.

9) Catch up on all of the TV shows you TiVo’d.

10) You don’t have to visit the annoying in-laws. (This should be reason enough!)

Mistle-No

Category : Holidays

During a marriage, we try to establish holiday traditions with our significant other. A friend of mine recently told me that every year she would hang a mistletoe in her house and she’d kiss her husband whenever they passed underneath it together. She expressed to me that she was a bit sad that she couldn’t hang up her mistletoe this year. I quickly told her that her mistletoe does not have to become mistle-no. It’s time to hang it with pride!

A great holiday divorce ritual is to hang a mistletoe and every time you pass underneath it solo kiss yourself. Sound strange? Not really. Love yourself for having the strength to have survived your divorce. Hold your head high that you’re moving on. Be proud that you’re now creating new holiday traditions of your own. Just simply kiss your own hand when you pass underneath the mistletoe. It’s a holiday divorce ritual that I guarantee will make you smile!

The weather outside might be frightful, but moving on is so delightful.

Welcome To Your Divorce Day

Category : Divorce Day

When I received the form letter from the county registrar — the “To Whom It May Concern” letter — stating that my divorce would be final in 6 months, if I did nothing more, I was appalled and shattered. After so many years of marriage, this was it? I thought. It ends with just a fizzle? How could this be? I felt there should be something to mark this important day in my life. Something to give the actual “divorce day” meaning.

Unfortunately, so many of us (around 50%) get divorced. But how do we mark the day when it’s finally final? You remember all the planning that went into your wedding, right? (You and/or your parents might still even be paying it off…ugh!) What about the day when the marriage officially ends? The day your new life begins.

This thought stayed with me for the six months until my divorce became final. That is, until the DAY that I decided to have a tea party with some special friends who had supported me through the divorce process. I found out that others were also starting to throw parties to celebrate the divorce day. Finally, people were beginning to move on and having fun doing it.

This blog was created to talk about that day and how you can make it special. Ways to make it a relevant moment in your life. I will be informing readers about fun ways and detail “rituals” to make that day special. But just like I needed help getting over my divorce, I need your input on this blog! Send me your comments and ideas to ltarter@yourdivorceday.com and tell me how you think we can make the official divorce day one to remember. Let’s all see how special this day can truly be!

When Nora Met Charlie

Category : Interviews

This is a fan letter to Nora Ephron. She is an amazing writer, so funny, clever, and interesting. What can I say, every time I’ve read something she has written, I am in awe of her talent.

The “When Harry Met Sally” scribe has been divorced twice and recently discussed the topic of divorce with Charlie Rose. Two of her comments that bear repeating and thinking about are as follows: “Marriages come and go, but divorce is forever.” And “Falling in love is the first drama, and then getting divorced is the next drama.”

When Charlie asked, “Is divorce more interesting than marriage?” Nora responded, “Probably.” To watch the entire interview click here.

9th Circuit Court of Appeals

Category : Favorite Articles

The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals is currently hearing testimony on gay marriage. I am wondering what will happen when it becomes legal for gay and lesbian couples to marry? Is it possible that because gays and lesbians have had to wait so long to legally marry, that they will stay married longer?

When there is a pent up demand for something and it finally happens, do people remain more committed to what they had wanted all along? And what will happen if love and gay marriage don’t go together like a horse and carriage and there’s a same-sex divorce? The point here is that gay couples want the right and choice to get married, separated, divorced, and remarried, just like anybody else.

The Huffington Post recently tackled the topic of same-sex divorce in an an article entitled, “Is Gay Divorce Any Different Than Straight Divorce?” Here is some of that article:

One of the most hotly debated questions amongst my lawyer and mediator colleagues is whether or not gay or lesbian divorces differ from straight divorces, and if so, in what ways. While some folks opine that all divorces are miserable in their own unique way, I’m convinced there are numerous differences. I think this is so, even where the legal procedures for state-registered domestic partners, civil union partners, or same-sex married spouses are just about identical to the divorce procedures used by straight folks. To read more click here.

The Business of Divorce

Category : Favorite Articles

With the latest stats of 52% of marriages ending divorce, one can’t not stop to think about the “business” of divorce, which is very much a business these days.

Costs pile up quickly during a divorce. It’s hard to check your ego at the door when dealing with an ex and things can often go from bad to worse during negotiations, which can even turn into a “Mexican standoff” between the spouses. One thing that is never at a standoff during a divorce are the legal bills, which seem to keep going like the Energizer Bunny.

The New York Times had a fascinating article over the weekend about a new company named Balance Point Divorce Funding, a lender that will share in the cost of a divorce (lawyer fees, forensic accounting, etc.) in exchange for a share of the winnings at the end of the case.

Stacey Napp founder of Balance Point said, “Everybody knows somebody where at the end of the day, the divorce was not equitable. We want to help those people, the underdog, to make sure they get their fair share.”

To read the entire article click here.

The Aisle

Category : Divorce Ritual

Did you ever think that to move forward after a divorce, you might have to go backwards?

Taking that walk down the aisle on your wedding day was an important first step (no pun intended). Now that you’re ending your marriage, the next step should be just as important…and in reverse! To celebrate your divorce day I encourage you to take a walk down the aisle backwards. Whether you set up an aisle in your house, back yard, go to a church or temple, it’s sure to be therapeutic stroll the second time around. (Plus, this time you won’t have all that rice stuck in your hair.)

Remember to have fun with this! Invite your BFF’s over and make some cocktails (not too many you do have to walk backwards). What if you actually wore your wedding dress? Maybe add some red or black accessories? Why not cut your dress shorter and wear it with tights? Or, you can wear something totally new that shows off that divorce diet body!

Taking a walk down the aisle backwards could be an event that really helps with closure.