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The Divorce Ritual Giveaway

Category : Books, Contest

Rituals are designed to help you cope.

Check out my interview for the website and enter to win a copy of “The Divorce Ritual: Get Up, Get Out and Get On With Your Life.” Please share this post with anyone going through a divorce.

To enter click here.

The Divorce Party Continues…

Category : Books, Divorce Party

Divorce parties…there’s just no stopping them! I am glad to see that celebrating your divorce is being celebrated by people all over the world. When I had my divorce party, it was exactly what I needed to let out a big exhale and move on. It even sparked writing my new book “The Divorce Ritual: Get Up, Get Out and Get On With Your Life.” I recently came across an article that I wanted to share with you about divorce parties entitled “Divorce Party Anyone.” They said:

Gone are the days when, couples used to go through hell during their divorces, well though it still remains hell-like for some couples, some smart ones have started accepting this new change in their lives with a straight face, in fact, with a rather happy face! Yeah, you’re getting me right, couples who are splitting with each-other are celebrating their split-ups. Archana Chibba, a 40 year old Marketing Professional, did a similar thing along with her ex husband to celebrate their divorce. “We realised that we couldn’t live with each-other anymore but, we still remain the best friends. I didn’t want to make it ugly and my ex-hubby ushered a similar sentiment when I talked it out with him! A mutual end to our marriage worked for us and we wanted to celebrate it. Both of us pooled in money and threw a party to remember. I called my friends, he called his and we had a rocking time. I am glad that I am not one of those unfortunate woman, who have to think twice before calling up the man they used to share their bed once. I call him for help every now and then and the feeling is purely mutual. I feel truly blessed.”

To get some great divorce party tips click here.  And to read the rest of the article click here.

Secrets of Powerful Women

Category : Books

When you’re going through a divorce a book can truly be your best friend. Finding one that is inspiring and pushes you to stay positive is equally important. I find that some of my favorite books come from recommendations. And I want to recommend ”Secrets of Powerful Women” to you.
Filled with strong advice, wisdom and stories from women who rose to the top of their frields it may be a perfect little helper to keep you positive and looking at the big picture. It may even inspire you in your personal and professional life.   Some of the women included are, Loretta Sanchez,  Kay Granger,  Fran Drescher and more. Actress and co-author of the book Rosario Dawson said, “There’s such a reservoir of power among us when we pool our resources and uplift each other. We are limitless in our power when we understand that . . . To read this book is to know that change is possible.”
Divorce is all about change so sit back with this book and enjoy!


In the summer of 2008, sixteen teenage girls won exclusive access to dozens of the most politically powerful women in America. These congresswomen, journalists, and activists were supposed to talk to the young women about leadership skills and how to impact public policy, but they couldn’t help sharing much more. They told funny, sad, and inspiring personal tales of missteps and small braveries, as well as of great leaps; they also talked to the girls about power pitfalls, power surges, powerful beginnings, and power suits.

Now those secrets are available to you. The wisdom imparted in this unforgettable collection of funny, thoughtful, and inspiring true stories will prove invaluable to women of all ages, aspirations, and lifestyles–in situations from the PTA to a power lunch, from the kitchen table to the corner office.

To pick up the book click here.

Divorce In The Bronx

Category : Books, Divorce Ritual

The Bronx Times did a wonderful review of my book The Divorce Ritual. Here are some highlights from the article entitled, This book CELEBRATES divorce by Bob Kappstatter: 

Three things every divorce lawyer should have handy on his desk:

°A box of tissues for the client.

°A calculator to figure the alimony.

° Lois Tarter’s book, The Divorce Ritual.

That last item is to get the client through – and happily beyond – her divorce.

Read the entire review  by clicking here.

A New Review for The Divorce Ritual

Category : Books, Divorce Ritual

When you write a book, I’ve learned that a great review can certainly make your day. Well, this recent review on by Grady Harp made my month. He is a male reader who really understood the book and what I was trying to offer readers. Thank you, thank you, thank you Grady! Appreciate you taking the time to read the book and writing such a thoughtful review. Here it is…


An Ubeat Climb Out of Divorce

Lois Tarter has been there, done that, and now she shares her experiences on dealing with the growing popular condition called Divorce. In this easy to read book she outlines why divorce can be a beginning – a pathway out of a life that has grown unfulfilling into a new world of freedom and growth – and celebration.

Tarter takes it from the top – the immediate response to divorce, dealing and coping with the change and then deciding to chin up and take this new stage in life as a time for growth. Her statistics about the divorce rate may astound some, and may challenge others to consider whether sticking with a marriage gone sour is worth the personal and conjoined agony, and then having the big intake of breath that starts a whole new way of looking at freedom.

Her `rituals’ are at once meaningful and often funny – getting rid of the clothes of the partner departed, redoing your home to be you and not the past `we’, making all manner of changes in lifestyle that allow new friends to enter as well as dealing with past `shared friends’, mending fences, etc. As she states when discussing her own divorce, `I needed something that was less like jumping off a bridge and more like climbing a mountain. After a divorce, it’s important to feel like you’re making progress. These rituals will help you move forward and you’ll enjoy an incredible sense of accomplishment every time you complete one.’

Tarter lists 13 ways/rituals to `clean house’, then proceeds to show how to heal with feeling – including online dating, playing old movies that make divorce an up front topic, how to survive your first apart Valentine’s Day, delete instant messaging, throw a divorce party, getting involved in activities such as yoga, how to deal with holidays – all manner of self improvement.

Tarter keeps it light and this book is best suited for women – both with and without children (and she discusses dealing with children in a brief but informed manner). But as other men who are either in the throes of divorce or past the initial stun gun effect, this information is easily transferable. This is a focused self-help book directed at a specific audience. On target and witty, it should do well. Grady Harp, October 12

To pick up The Divorce Ritual click here.

He Said, Not She Said

Category : Books, Celebrity

When a divorce occurs both sides have their own stories about the turn of events.  And both spouses are entitled to have their own stories.  However, when you start sharing those stories with friends, family and the public things can get sticky for everyone.

Arnold Schwarzenneger’s new book “Total Recall” is filled with lots of stories (656 pages) from his career, marriage and break-up that the media is finding pretty juicy right now.  I had heard that Maria Schriver didn’t want him to come out with the book.  Hey, Aronld, if you want to get back with your ex and make things work, it’s probably not a good idea to come out with a tell-all book.  This brings up a bigger question…when a couple is in the media should they speak about their ex-spouse when a divorce occurs? I feel like they shouldn’t. At the end of the day, if you’re an actor you should focus on your acting. If you’re a singer, you should focus on your singing. You shouldn’t have to speak about a divorce to keep yourself in the media.
if you’re not a famous person, I still think you should keep the details of your divorce to yourself.  If you have children, (like Arnold does) it’s even more important to keep things private In Arnold and Maria’s case it’s “He said, Not She said.” Maria is taking the high road and I commend her for it.

Los Angeles Times columnist Steve Lopez did a recent article about the release of the book.  He wrote, “In his new book, “Total Recall,” former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger explains why he didn’t want to talk to the media when it was discovered that he had fathered a child with the family housekeeper. “I wanted to protect my family’s privacy,” Schwarzenegger writes, “which remains a priority of mine today.” That being the case, a question comes to mind. If Schwarzenegger wants to protect his family’s privacy, what was he doing on “60 Minutes” Sunday night, talking about that affair and admitting to a number of others? The simplest answer, I suppose, is that he was promoting the book. But that raises another question: If Schwarzenegger cares about his wife and their four kids — or his former mistress and the child she had with him — why write the book at all?

Good question, Steve. I am wondering the same thing and I suppose so is everybody else.  So much for being a good politician Arnold.

New Tea Party Book

Category : Books, Divorce Party

In my new book The Divorce Ritual, I talk about the divorce party I threw when my first marriage was over. I always loved tea parties so that’s what I planned — a tea party/divorce party with all of my closest friends. I recently came across a new book the reminded me of that special afternoon. It’s called ”The Vintage Tea Party Book.” You can now learn how to host your own tea party with the wonderful ideas herein.

Description from Amazon:  

The Vintage Tea Party Book embraces the style and class of the trendy London Vintage scene and illustrates how to beautifully recreate the tasty treats and classic styles at home. A unique mixture of recipes and feature spreads with accessible tips on hairstyling, makeup methods and tips on where to collect vintage china

 Angel Adoree cordially invites you to accompany her on a journey to create your perfect vintage tea party. Expect glamour, roses, rabbits, headscarves, foxes, teapots, crows, parlour games, cake stands, hair and make-up tips and, not forgetting, humongous amounts of magical tea party food that is fit for the Queen of England, and easy enough for you to make.

To pick up the book click here.

InvestiDate:How to Investigate Your Date by Maria Coder

Category : Books

When I went to the “Start Over Smart” expo a few weeks ago in New York City, I met a really interesting  lady, Maria Coder.  She was a former crime and general assignment reporter.  She had suffered a broken heart, and decided never to be blindsided again!  So she wrote this great book entitled, InvestiDate: How to Investigate Your Date.  It is so interesting with lots of clues of things  to look for when you are meeting new people.  Often, initial judgements can be wrong, so Maria helps you make those judgements in a more logical way.  She wants to help men and women know what they are getting into when they go out.   Check it out, it is really interesting.

Here is the book description from Amazon:

InvestiDate: How to Investigate Your Date is a fun, tongue-in-cheek, secret weapon-like book that arms men and women with tools to maneuver through this minefield called love. All with the 007-mission to steer clear of physical danger, financial ruin, and emotional harm.

Daters of all ages will learn step-by-step how to:

-Conduct criminal checks
-Verify employment
-Gauge marital status
-Create a Date-a-Base
-Scour property records
-And much, much more

Created by Maria Coder, a former crime and general assignment reporter, InvestiDate teaches daters how to investigate their dates using modern day scenarios. InvestiDate has been featured on The TODAY Show. UK’s Mail Online, Australia’s The Morning Show, New York Magazine, The Washington Times, and countless other media.

No stranger to a broken heart, Maria has canceled a wedding, dumped a philanderer, and had her heart unrecognizably pulverized a time or two. She’s earned her dues in the dating trenches and has decided it’s time to set the record straight.

A member of Investigative Reporters and Editors, a professional organization dedicated to improving the quality of investigative reporting, Maria is committed to empowering men and women to know what they’re getting themselves into; and to know when to get out. A self-proclaimed New Yorker, Maria travels frequently, teaching workshops and webinars. More information and weekly tips available at

Be More Mindful in 2012

Category : Books, Celebrity

One of the most worthwhile books of 2011, is Goldie Hawn’s 10 Mindful Minutes: Giving Our Children – and Ourselves – the Social and Emotional Skills to Reduce Stress and Anxiety for Healthier, Happier Lives. Hawn took a step away from acting to focus on  The Hawn Foundation, where her mission statement is, “Our mission is to help young minds by nurturing  resilience, hope, and optimism.” With things moving so quickly more than ever these days, Hawn shows us ways to refocus our energy. In the book, the 66 year old actress – who looks amazing, by the way – offers her insights on how our thoughts and emotions affect everything else, including our focus and stress levels. She has a scientific approach that is not preachy, but enlightening. Hawn shares an important message for all of us and our children in this book. Pick it up because it’s a great read to start the new year.

Here is the book description:

Across the country, the revolutionary MindUP program, which was developed under the auspices of the Hawn Foundation, established by Goldie Hawn, is teaching children vital social and emotional skills. By understanding how their brains work, children discover where their emotions come from and become more self-aware. They learn to appreciate the sensory aspects of their lives and to value the positive effects of mindfulness, compassion, and kindness. This, in turn, empowers them to manage and reduce their own stress-and helps them be happy.

Those who have seen the remarkable effects of this program have been eager to learn how to implement it in their own homes and use its practices for themselves, too. Now, for the first time, its secrets are being shared with all parents and children in 10 Mindful Minutes.

To pick up the book click here:

Divorce & Kids

Category : Books, Children, Healing

I just read this cute little children’s book about a divorces’ impact on young kids entitled, “Standing on My Own Two Feet: A Child’s Affirmation of Love in the Midst of Divorce.”

Divorce is a difficult time for the parents, but let’s not forget about the children.  They are often in a state of confusion and self blame.  They can feel they should have done more to keep their parents together.  Or, even worse they feel the divorce is their fault.  This book addresses these problems and is delivered in a humorous, healing and straight-forward manner that’s easy for children to understand and relate to.

The book is seen through the eyes of Addison — a regular kid whose parents are going through divorce.  The multi-talented author and illustrator, Tamara Schmitz, delivers lines that children will relate to like, “Just like I have two feet… I have two homes.” The moral here is no matter what happens, Addison’s parents will always love him.  Great drawings.  Fun writing. This will help ease the transition for any child whose parents are divorcing.

For more information click here.

To pick up the book click here.