followUs followUs

The Ultimate Indignity

Category : Break-Up, Dating, Divorce Rate, Favorite Articles, Financial

Read an article in the Los Angeles Times about the fact that since the economy is getting better, divorce is going up. 

I had heard a while ago that so many people stayed married and living together because they couldn’t sell their home — their biggest asset.  Many of the couples stayed together and waited until they could get a price that made sense for them.  I actually met a woman who lived like that for about a year and a half.  It must have been quite an experience.  She would sort of slide out the backdoor when she had a date and then had to be pleasant when she returned.   Talk about a schizophrenic lifestyle.

Obviously, it’s not love that keeps some married people together.  To read the article in the Los Angeles times click here.

Drinking and Divorce

Category : Divorce Rate, News

There’s a recent study that came out that discusses drinking in marriage and how the divorce rate is raised if only one spouse drinks heavily. If they both drink, it’s not a problem. In a new article by Science 2.0, they write:

Drinking and marriage don’t mix – unless both spouses do, according to a recent paper by the University at Buffalo Research Institute on Addictions (RIA) which followed 634 couples from the time of their weddings through the first nine years of marriage.

The results: couples where only one spouse was a heavy drinker had a much higher divorce rate than other couples but if both spouses were heavy drinkers, the divorce rate was the same as for couples where neither were heavy drinkers.

Over the course of the nine-year study, nearly 50 percent of couples where only one partner drank more heavily wound up divorcing, while the divorce rates for other couples was only 30 percent. “Heavy drinking” was defined as drinking six or more drinks at one time or drinking to intoxication.
The study controlled for factors such as marijuana and tobacco use, depression and socioeconomic status, which can also be related to marital dissatisfaction, separation and divorce.

“Our results indicate that it is the difference between the couple’s drinking habits, rather than the drinking itself, that leads to marital dissatisfaction, separation and divorce,” said Kenneth Leonard, PhD, RIA director and lead author of the study. “This research provides solid evidence to bolster the commonplace notion that heavy drinking by one partner can lead to divorce. Although some people might think that’s a likely outcome, there was surprisingly little data to back up that claim until now.”

To read the rest of the article click here.

Divorce Among 50 and Older on the Rise

Category : Baby Boomers, Divorce Rate

Great piece in The New York Times about how divorce has increased among people 50 and older.  Here are some highlights from Sam Roberts’ article “Divorce After 50 Grows More Common”:

*In 1990, 1 in 10 persons who divorced was 50 or older. By 2011, according to the census’s American Community Survey, more than 28 percent (more than 1 in 4) who said they divorced in the previous 12 months were 50 or older.

*Most divorces among older couples, as in younger ones, are initiated by women.  “Women have long been more sensitive to — or less tolerant of — a mediocre relationship than men,” Professor Coontz said, “and so another big factor is that with their increased work experience and greater sense of their own possibilities, they are less willing to just ‘wait it out.’

*Robert D. Gould, a New York trial lawyer who handles matrimonial cases and himself was divorced when he was over 50, said: “A lot of marriages died a long time ago, but because of the shame involved, in a family people often stuck together for the children. Now the children are grown up. Viagra is another reason — men are able to satisfy younger women. And people are living longer and they can get out and still have a life.”

To read the entire article click here.

A Financial Look At Divorce

Category : Divorce Rate, Favorite Articles

There is an interesting article in the Wall Street Journal about divorce.  While it talks about the business-side of handling your post-marriage life, it sheds light on new statistics and preparation that’s sure to be helpful.  Even though summer is all about marriages as oppossed to divorce, new stats say that 10% will end in divorce during the first five years.  So get smart and look at things with an open eye. You may end up happily ever after, or happy as soon as the divorce papers go through.  Either way, some useful divorce info can help.

To read the article click here.

Moving In Together Before I Do

Category : Divorce Rate

According to census data twenty five years ago, if you were living with your partner prior to marriage and got married eventually, you had a higher liklihood of getting a divorce than if you moved in together after marriage.  Recently, the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention surveyed 22,000 men and women about marriage and divorce,and the results showed that living together nowadays before getting married does NOT increase the possibility of divorce.

Today, about 60 percent of couples live together before they get married. “It’s becoming so common, it’s not surprising it no longer negatively affects marital stability,” said Wendy Manning, co-director of the National Center for Family & Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University in Ohio.

Researchers with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention looked for trends in first marriages. They interviewed men and women up to 44 years old during the years of 2006 to 2010. About 40 percent were married. The study found those who were engaged and living together before the wedding were about as likely to have marriages that lasted 15 years as couples who hadn’t lived together. But what about the couples who were living together but weren’t engaged? The new study found marriage was less likely to survive to the 10- and 15-year mark among couples who weren’t engaged when they lived together – findings similar to earlier research.

In this economy where rents are high and work is not as secure and abundant, I think we will see more and more couples moving in together before they say, “I do.” Some feel that living together before marriage may offer a solid trial run for the couple before they walk down the aisle together. In turn, they can solve the issues before they officially get married or figure out if they can be solved them at all.

The bottom line is that the study showed that living together before getting married did not cause more divorces in the future. That said, do you agree with moving in together before you get married or do you feel that you should move in after the honeymoon?

Divorce In Italy? Fahgettaboudit!

Category : Divorce Rate, Global Divorce

I was a big Sorprano’s fan. One of the parts of the show that I enjoyed watching the most was the relationship between Tony Soprano and his wife, Carmela. During Season 5, their marriage was on the rocks and Carmela tells T0ny over dinner that she is going to move forward and file for divorce. Getting a divorce is never easy, but I couldn’t imagine getting one with a mob boss! Tony responded matter-of-factly, “Well, first of all we’re Italian, we don’t believe in divorce. We believe in the nuclear family.”

I decided to do a little research about divorce in Italy. In 1970, divorce was made legal in Italy, but has since remained one of the lowest divorce rates in the world, currently at 12%. Compared to the US at 52% and Sweden even higher at 64% (you might want to bring e divorce papers to the wedding). Maybe when Italians get married it really does mean “for better or for worse.” Historically, Italians are family-oriented and seem to work through their problems rather than just giving up and ending the marriage. Maybe the strict religious beliefs of Catholicism deter people from getting divorced as well as pressure from the family. Many newly married couples in Italy actually live with their parents or very close by. I guess in Italy they look at the bigger picture and the wife doesn’t get on the husband for leaving the toilet seat up (even though that REALLY annoys me).

Why do you think the divorce rate is so low in Italy?