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Best Day to Break-Up

Category : Break-Up, Your Tango

There is one day of the week to break-up that is better than the others. Which one? Check out my latest article for YourTango to find out the answer. Here is some of that article below:

The day of the week that you officially split from your mate can certainly help a lot with your recovery.  Monday is a terrible day to break-up because Monday’s are just terrible to begin with.  Tuesday is just as bad because you have the entire week ahead of you to be upset at work.  If you break-up with your boyfriend mid-week on a Wednesday, you will probably not want to finish out the work week.  You don’t want to break-up on the weekend because it will ruin two valuable days that are yours.

To read the rest of the article click here.

Dating While the Divorce is Being Finalized

Category : Break-Up, Children, Dating, Huffington Post

My latest article is up and live on the Huffington Post! It’s entitled, “Dating During Divorce.”  It covers what you may want to consider about being ready or not to date while your divorce is being finalized:
People have mixed feelings about dating while going through the divorce process. While dating someone new can boost your confidence after a break-up, should you wait until the divorce is officially over before seeking out someone new?

Returning to the single life is a major adjustment. However, it also offers an exciting second chance at love. Some people have no issues dating before the divorce is final. Others would rather sign the divorce papers before moving ahead. And still others think they won’t date until the divorce is finalized, but they change their mind when they meet someone new. You just never know when fate will intervene and a new special person will come along.
Here are some reasons that dating during divorce may be the right choice for you:

To read the rest of the article click here.

Are You Considering A Break-Up?

Category : Break-Up, Your Tango

My latest article for YourTango.com looks at why someone may want to end a relationship if they’re not happy:
8 Reasons You Should Consider Breaking-Up

Sometimes we get so used to being in a relationship with someone –even a bad relationship– we forget what it felt like when things were good. There are lots of problems, but we avoid them. And when we do see them, we sometimes don’t do anything.

There are many signs that a break-up could be imminent. While cheating is obviously a huge reason to end a relationship, there are many others. And many have to do with some kind of a breakdown in communication. So what are the signs? This list contains reasons that are at the base of every relationship.

To read more of the article click here.

Breaking Up With Compassion

Category : Break-Up, Your Tango

There are some ways to break up that are unacceptable.  Check out my latest article for Your Tango where I detail 5 ways you should never break up with someone. It can make a big difference!

Here is my article:

We have all been through a break up at some point in our lives. While it usually turns out to be the right decision, it’s tough when you’re going through it. If you’re the one ending the relationship how you deliver the news can make a big difference.

It’s important to use some compassion when moving on. If not, the person on the receiving end of the bad news can be left wondering, Why would they break up with me like that?! Basically, there’s no good way to break up. We would hope our partner would do it with some feeling, but sometimes love is a battlefield. Here are five ways you should never use to end a relationship.

1) Heard it Through the Grapevine: Some people choose to ask another person to do their breaking up for them. Having a friend tell someone that it’s over is not only bad, it’s incredibly cowardly. Do it yourself and deal with the backlash that comes with it.

To read the rest of my article click here.

Quaid and Buffington Head For A Divorce

Category : Break-Up, Celebrity

“Vegas” star Dennis Quaid and his wife Kimberly Buffington are now headed for divorce. According to divorce papers filed on Friday, Quaid is seeking joint legal and physical custody of the couple’s 4-year-old twins according to divorce papers filed Friday.  Originally back in March, Kimberly filed for divorce but held off.   Then six weeks ago she filed for a legal separation and Quaid now filed for divorce after an 8 year marriage.  Sometimes a couple gives it a try, but the problems make it too difficult to continue and try to make it work.  This could be one of those cases.  I hope they both find happiness and keep things positive for their two children.

The Vagina Monologues

Category : Break-Up, Celebrity

 

Olivia Wilde is one divorcee who has spoken openly about her break-up. She continues to share her inner most thoughts and feelings in the press about getting divorced and I have to say her musings are pretty funny. Her latest was shared when addressing the crowd at Joes Pub in NYC the other night.  She expressed how things were going with her ex at the end of her marriage, ”I felt like my vagina died.” Some of Olivia’s other revelations…

On knowing your marriage is over: “And you can lie to your relatives at Christmas dinner and tell them everything on the home front is just peachy. But you cannot lie to your vagina.”

On keeping the spark alive: “In Olivia Land, relationships can legally only last seven years, without an option to renew. That way it never goes stale. Can you imagine, if we only had seven years? We’d be so nice to each other, so kind, and appreciative and enthusiastic, like we were eating a really expensive bowl of pasta!”

To read more from Vulture click here.

Reality TV Divorce Curse Strikes Again

Category : Break-Up, Celebrity

In the world of reality television, the reality has been divorce for many. The cameras rolling can prove to be too much on a couple. Maybe a couple had cracks in the foundation of their relationship before the camera crew showed up. Or, maybe it was the instant stardom. Either way, a split is a split and picking up the pieces afterwards is even more difficult in the public eye.

The latest couple to fall prey to the TV reality curse is Adrienne Maloof and Paul Nassif.  “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” stars are ending they marriage after nine years of marriage and three sons together.  Maloof said to the Hufifngton Post,  ”I am devoted to my children and nothing else is as important as giving them the shelter and care that I have always made my priority!”

It’s a shame to see this happen. They did look like one of the happier couples on reality television during the first two seasons of the show. To read more click here.

What’s Your Ritual?

Category : Break-Up, Divorce Ritual

 

Hi all! I wanted to share this nice email I got with you. Here we go…

Lois,

I first want to thank you for writing The Divorce Ritual. Finally something to make me laugh in this whole divorce dibacle.  Anyway, I wanted to share a ritual with you that I did last week. I call it “The Run” and it involves my dog. My ex and I brought our dog together to the same dog run all the time. Felt a bit strange going there now alone. So I Googled and found a new one not far away. I switched things up and glad I did. Great dog run! Sam (that’s my dogs name) loved it. I also met another dog owner there who was quite handsome. Our dogs met, then we met and exchanged numbers. We’ll see! Thanks a lot Lois.

Cynthia

Email me your divorce rituals (lois@yourdivorceday.com) and I will post them! Don’t forget to check out my book The Divorce Ritual.

When Your Ex Passes Away, What Do You Do?

Category : Break-Up

Just talked to a friend who was divorced a number of years ago.  She was in a real quandry. Her ex-husband had just passed away and she didn’t know what to do or how to feel.  I had absolutly no advice to give her and was hoping someone out there might. 

We always feel sad when someone we know passes away.  But when it is someone you have shared your life with for a period of time, then parted ways, what do you do?  I imagine the intensity of your feelings have to do with how long you were married, how long you have been divorced, if you had children together, and well so many variables. 
Do you immediatly drop what you are doing and go to try to confort the persons new family? If you had children together, I would think you would want to be with them to help them get through a difficult time. 

I wasn’t exactly sure how to help her when she asked me, and I am hoping someone out there has some input

Another Go?

Category : Break-Up

What happens when you want to see your ex again romantically and you have children? This is something every divorce couple needs to think about if they want to give it another chance. 

I think there is a definite need to make sure that your relationship can work again before you bring up getting back together to the children. There’s no need for a false alarm or to  have them get used to mom and dad back together again for it not to work out a second time. It’s not fair to them as well as not fair to yourselves. You will have lots of explaining to do to your children, friends and family that is not necessary. It’s not about being secretive as it is about being more  protective of your children’s feelings.  This can quickly turn out to be a confusing situation if the relationship ends again. Just like us, children are creatures of habit who work well with routine. If you have been broken up for a while they might even be used it now.  To go back to the way it was before, you should   be almost 100% sure that this could work a second time. So meet up with your husband for lunch during the day. Or one of you get a babysitter and meet up for a cocktail at night. Take the time for the children and yourselves to make sure this is the right move. 

Have you every gotten back with an ex after a divorce?