Same-sex marriage has been a major part of the news over the past few years. Even though a gay couple may get their wish to be a normal married couple, what happens when they want to be a normal divorced couple? Yes, these days you can’t think of marriage without thinking about divorce. Not that any one enters a marriage to get divorced, but the current stats are proof you have to look at all sides. And if you are a same-sex married couple and want to end your union, it can be tricky. According to CNN, “If a marriage should fall apart in a state that doesn’t recognize the couple’s legal status in the first place, that’s when things get complicated. Some states that do not allow same-sex marriages to be performed also do not grant divorces for same-sex marriages that occurred outside of the state’s borders. It’s a tricky situation when a couple wants to dissolve their same-sex marriage, and neither spouse is a resident of a state that recognizes their marriage as legal and valid.”
So what happens if you’re in a state that doesn’t recognize same sex marriage and you want a divorce….nothing! “And in the case of Port and Cowan, a Maryland judge ruled in 2010 that the state’s constitution could not recognize their divorce, and denied their filing. They were both Maryland residents when they sought to dissolve their marriage, and Maryland was not a state that recognizes same-sex marriage.”
For more on this article click here.
There is an interesting article in the Wall Street Journal about divorce. While it talks about the business-side of handling your post-marriage life, it sheds light on new statistics and preparation that’s sure to be helpful. Even though summer is all about marriages as oppossed to divorce, new stats say that 10% will end in divorce during the first five years. So get smart and look at things with an open eye. You may end up happily ever after, or happy as soon as the divorce papers go through. Either way, some useful divorce info can help.
To read the article click here.
Can men and women JUST be friends? This is at the core of an article this past Sunday in the New York Times written by essayist and author William Deresiewicz. If you are newly divorced this is an interesting area to consider. I have had many women call me and say they met a guy and after an evening together with no romance, they were not sure if they are going to be “just friends.” If two people are straight, can they both be only friends? Sure you make friends at work, but I am talking about the one you meet out at a bar or through a mutual friend at a party. Where does that go? Also, is it different at different ages. Deresiewicz says in the Times piece, ”CAN men and women be friends? We have been asking ourselves that question for a long time, and the answer is usually no. The movie “When Harry Met Sally…” provides the locus classicus. The problem, Harry famously explains, is that “the sex part always gets in the way.” Heterosexual people of the opposite sex may claim to be just friends, the message goes, but count on it — wink, wink, nudge, nudge — something more is going on. Popular culture enforces the notion relentlessly. In movie after movie, show after show, the narrative arc is the same. What starts as friendship (Ross and Rachel, Monica and Chandler) ends up in bed.”
The article goes through a bit of the history of men and women relations, the changes feminism had on society and how times have changed. He even discusses his own experiences and how platonic relationships were not something that was rare to him. He said, “Friendships with members of the opposite sex have been an important part of my life since I went to high school in the late 1970s, and I hardly think I’m alone. Consult your own experience, but as I look around, I don’t see that platonic friendships are actually rare at all or worthy of a lot of winks and nudges. Which is why you don’t much hear the term anymore. Platonic friendships now are simply friendships. But doesn’t the sex thing get in the way? At times, no doubt. It’s harder for the young, of course — all those hormones, and so many of your peers are unattached. In fact, one of the most common solutions to Harry’s quandary is to have sex and then remain friends. If the sex thing gets in the way, the answer often seems to be to just get it out of the way.”
To read the rest of the article click here. Do you have any men in your life that are just friends? Let us know your experiences.
It seems that more and more baby boomers are heading into old age divorced. The New York Times had a very interesting article about the rise of divorce among adults 46 through 64. When you’re older, daily life can be more difficult alone as the article sheds light on.
Susan L. Brown, co-director of the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State, said the trend would transform the lives of many older people.
The elderly, who have traditionally relied on spouses for their care, will increasingly struggle to fend for themselves. And federal and local governments will have to shoulder much of the cost of their care. Unmarried baby boomers are five times more likely to live in poverty than their married counterparts, statistics show. They are also three times as likely to receive food stamps, public assistance or disability payments.
The article also includes statistics about the divorce rates amongst baby boomers, which sheds light on how real this divorce boom is.
Over the past 20 years, the divorce rate among baby boomers has surged by more than 50 percent, even as divorce rates over all have stabilized nationally. At the same time, more adults are remaining single. The shift is changing the traditional portrait of older Americans: About a third of adults ages 46 through 64 were divorced, separated or had never been married in 2010, compared with 13 percent in 1970, according to an analysis of recently released census data conducted by demographers at Bowling Green State University, in Ohio.
To read the entire article click here.
Demi Moore graces the cover of the February issue of Harper’s Bazaar. The piece was done right after she filed for divorce. With the wounds still fresh, she offered up some of her thoughts about various things, including her insecurities about love, “I would say what scares me is that I’m going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I’m really not lovable, that I’m not worthy of being loved. That there’s something fundamentally wrong with me.” Moore’s response to freedom was equally interesting, “Letting go of the outcome. Truly being in the moment. Not reflecting on the past. Not projecting into the future. That’s freedom. Not caring more about what other people think than what you think. That’s freedom.”
Moore has more healing to do, but for now she is staying strong. As for all of the reports about her dramatic weight loss, she said, “You can’t look at yourself in the mirror and tear your body apart. You have to look at it and go, ‘thank you.’”
There is a great article in the Huffington Post entitled, “Why It Doesn’t Feel Good To Be Butt Naked In Front Of Your Ex-Wife While She’s Laughing At You.” This is the tale of a man who actually married his college crush — scratch that, DREAM girl — only to end in divorce after two years together. The story is heart-wrenching, heartwarming and hysterical!
This article is a great look at divorce from the man’s point of view and how he found the strength to move on and find humor in the situation. This is one you have to read, so click here!
While most of the weekly magazines are hot to cover the latest break-ups, I found a really great article in this weeks issue of Us Weekly about making it work. In a three-page spread entitled “Love Lives,” the magazine delves into what makes some of Hollywood’s relationships stay strong and fresh. Here is a look into some of the reasons why some of Hollywood’s relationships keep going:
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban: It seems that the location of their relationship is the perfect setting for love. They stay in his hometown of Nashville and feel “serene in the South.”
Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan: They have been together for 23 years and they jet to the city of love to keep their relationship strong. According to Us Weekly Pollan said, “He was like, ‘Let’s go have dinner in Paris on our anniversary. It was spontaneous and very special. He’s always really sweet.”
Tina Fey and Jeff Richmond: They are there to support each other with their children. According to Us Weekly, when Fey went to the Emmys in LA Richmond stayed behind to watch their two children.
For more celeb stories about how their relationships work, pick up the current November 28th issue of Us Weekly on stands now.
Talking about your divorce with friends and family is important, but when does it become too much for everyone around you?! I have written an online article for MORE Magazine about Divorce TMI. Please read it by clicking here.
Before I started writing about divorce for MORE, I was a loyal reader of their magazine and online site. So many fabulous, informative and helpful articles! Make sure you bookmark their site More.com and follow them on Twitter for the latest updates @MoreMag. This month the beautiful and inspiring actress Mariska Hargitay graces their cover (pictured above). It’s available at newsstands now!
It seems that as the divorce rate rises that prenups are on the rise as well. But are the demands by the future spouses rising too? Many people often wonder what kind of agreements celebrities make to protect their fortune and children. High child support? Penalties for cheating? Extravagant shopping budget? If these prenups are made with Hollywood couples, you can probably expect something over-the-top.
Protecting your assets and image seems to be the order of the day in the entertainment business. In my quest to find the most outrageous prenups, I came across an interesting article by the Foresight Legal Group filled with interesting celeb demands if the marriage goes south. Below are some of those with two couples you have probably heard of:
Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom
Should Khloe and Lamar divorce, their prenup states that Khloe will receive $500,000 for each year they’re married, $25,000 a month in spousal support, their house, a new car at the end of every lease cycle, $5,000 a month for shopping, $1,000 a month for beauty care, and season courtside Lakers tickets for her whole family. Because if she’s no longer married to Lamar, there’s another Lakers player she might be interested in…
Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones
Catherine and Michael’s prenup contains a very popular — especially among the celebrity set — ‘cheating clause.’ Should Michael ever be caught cheating, he owes Catherine $5 million. And $2.8 million for each year they were married.
For more celeb prenup fun click here.
Everyone has been covering the Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony split. As far as celebrity and divorce, it’s a major happening. While I haven’t covered it yet because I figured you have heard enough just like I have, there was one article written by Stu Gray that I thought was well done. He covers the six love lessons to take away from the J-Lo and Anthony divorce. Gray feels there is something new to learn from this split.
Here are some of his lessons from that article:
1. Know that the seven year mark is a difficult time. Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony were married seven years. Experts say that the 7 to 10 year mark is the time when many people start to think about jumping out of marriages. This was true in my own marriage. About 7 years in, I began searching for what could make my marriage better, thankfully, instead of deciding to give up. I decided to improve what we had. Know that these periods of time are going to come, and they are also going to pass. If you keep working on your marriage, and not looking for ways to eject from it, you will come out better on the other side.
2. A marriage isn’t a business deal. I don’t know all the details of the Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez marriage, and I don’t want to be too judgmental. But I do know that they are both very business savvy and make lots of money doing what they do. In reading about their split, I was reminded that there is always more than money at stake and “who gets what” when a marriage breaks up. Something does happen to the children. Even if the breakup is amicable, there will always be emotional scars. Talk to kids whose parents have been divorced. Even if the breakup was cordial, most will tell you that they wish it wouldn’t have happened.
For the entire list click here.