Hi all! I wanted to share this nice email I got with you. Here we go…
I first want to thank you for writing The Divorce Ritual. Finally something to make me laugh in this whole divorce dibacle. Anyway, I wanted to share a ritual with you that I did last week. I call it “The Run” and it involves my dog. My ex and I brought our dog together to the same dog run all the time. Felt a bit strange going there now alone. So I Googled and found a new one not far away. I switched things up and glad I did. Great dog run! Sam (that’s my dogs name) loved it. I also met another dog owner there who was quite handsome. Our dogs met, then we met and exchanged numbers. We’ll see! Thanks a lot Lois.
Email me your divorce rituals (firstname.lastname@example.org) and I will post them! Don’t forget to check out my book The Divorce Ritual.
This past week, I had a lot of fun promoting my new book The Divorce Ritual. I was interviewed about divorce parties on one of Australia’s most popular morning programs, ”The Morning Show.” You can watch it by click here.
A big thanks to everyone for all of the positive feedback on Twiiter and this blog about my book cover for “The Divorce Ritual” (pictured above). As always, I deeply appreciate your continued support on this endeavor. I am very proud to announce that my trailer for the book is now available for viewing! If you’re wondering what an divorce ritual is…we answer that question and much more in this unique video It also shows the inner-workings of a divorce party as we filmed it during an event for Christine a truly wonderful and strong recent divorcee. She decided to move on and not look back…and nothing says, “I’m not looking back” like a divorce party. We shot the video along the Venice Beach canals in California. Cocktails were flowing. The crowd was excited. The divorcee was smiling. Nothing could have been better!
I hope you enjoy the trailer and look forward to your feedback. You can watch it by clicking here.
Everybody knows that the cliche honeymoon is always on tap right after you say “I do.” You get your spf sunscreen and hop on a plane with your spouse to Hawaii or Acapulco for some fun in the sun to recoop after the whole wedding production. Yes, the wedding that took you a year to plan and was over inwhat felt like, about ten minutes. Now it’s time to figure out the next phase of your lives as a couple.
Fast forward, five years later and you unfortunately don’t have much in common any longer with your spouse. You spend more time with your girlfriends for a good time and he spends more time with his secretary for a good time. You file for divorce, go through the whole process and a year later come out the other side with a decree and your freedom. What do you do next? You go on a your “divorce honeymoon!”
You had a honeymoon to mark your marriage, so it would only seem fitting to have a divorce honeymoon when it’s over. Pick a place that you have always wanted to go, but haven’t been able to. You can also just get away for the weekend if you want. Get a room at the local beach or the local log cabin depending on the time of year. The bottom line is that you are spending some quality time with the most important person in your life right now – you! A divorce honeymoon is essential when hitting the restart button and getting back into the swing of things. There are plenty of singles cruises around that offer many opportunities with other liberated divorcee’s who stayed strong and didn’t walk the plank.
The key to the divorce honeymoon is that you are getting out there again. It’s a swift kick for a divorcee to start living life with a new outlook (and maybe a new boyfriend)!
At a recent divorce party, I incorporated one of my favorite Divorce Rituals entitled, “Up The Aisle” (pictured above). We all remember the walk we made down the aisle on our wedding day. It was an important first step in entering a brand new life. Now that you’re ending your marriage, I propose (no pun intended) taking a walk down the aisle again. But this time go backwards!
This ritual is like hitting the rewind button on the movie of your married life. You are going backwards from your old life, moving forward into your new one! It’s time to ceremoniously undo the marriage and close that door behind you. If you got married in a church, go back to where it all began and end it once and for all. Or, you can simply set-up an aisle in your living room or in your back yard. The point of this ritual isn’t the location that you choose. It’s about healing and moving on. Wherever you do this healing ritual, it’s sure to be a therapeutic stroll up the aisle the second time around. Also, this time you won’t have all that rice stuck in your hair or have to avoid tripping on the train of your wedding dress. Things are looking up already!
In any relationship, we are left with ties that we need to untie, especially a marriage. From bills to insurance to your “in case of emergency” person, it often feels endless. However, there are some other ties that are fun to cut that have nothing to do with paperwork. At a recent divorce party that I threw, I brought in one of my “divorce rituals” that the ladies loved! It’s called “Cutting the Ties That Bind.”
Step 1: Get as many suit ties as the years that you were married. You can order some online for a couple of dollars each. If your ex left some of his clothes behind to pick up at a later date, cutting his Louis Vuitton ties is not a good idea.
Step 2: Have a pair of hedgeclippers. Put on a bow on the end of the handle to make it festive!
Step 3: Recruit two of your BFF’s and have them hold each end of the tie and stretch it out.
Step 4: This is the fun part….cut the ties right down the middle. One after another for all of the years you spend married to your ex.
Step 5: Have your friends be the clean-up crew and ask them to pick up the pieces of the ties because you are done picking up the pieces of your marriage.
I heard a story recently about a priest who found a engagement ring (not cubic zirconia) that was left by someone in the collection plate. The priest had no idea who it was from. He asked at various services if anyone wanted to claim it. Nobody stepped up. He didn’t know what to do. So finally he sold it and put a new roof on the church. Makes sense I guess, right?
Maybe the divorcee got married in that church and wanted to return it to where it all began? Or, maybe it slipped off of her finger when she was putting in a dollar? (Probably not.)
What do you think? Is this a good way to get rid of your ring and move on after a divorce?
One of the divorce rituals in my upcoming book is about quitting one thing when your divorce goes through. It can be a lot of different things that you can choose to quit. A habit you been trying to kick for a while like smoking. An addiciton to shopping. Making an attempt to eat less sugar. Or, it can be a way that you conduct your life like trying to think less negatively.
Think of it like New Year’s Eve and the resolutions you make. These can be your divorce resolutions! I don’t suggest trying to bite off more than you can chew. Just take one bad habit at a time. Don’t try too much at once or you won’t end up accomplishing your goal. Move one mountain at a time. You will see some results that way the quickest.
What is something tha t you would like to quit?
Once your divorce is final, you get into your bed and now it’s half empty. You look in the closet and it’s half empty. The medicine cabinet is also half empty. Your exes faves are not in the fridge, leaving lots more room. What do you do with all that empty space? It could be a real sad or a real happy moment…actually sort of bitter sweet.
How do you fill up all of this space that you feel is empty, so your house feels fully lived-in by you. First, the closet is sooo easy. Spread your clothes out a bit and you may have to twist your own arm to buy a few more shoes to fill up the floor. The fridge is also super easy. Stock it up with all of your favorite goodies and healthy things that will help you achieve that post divorce bod! How do you handle filling up space in your the bed? Brad Pitt would be good for starters! Seriously, you can add some more pillows (like the one above!). Or, some stuffed animals and a good book you’re reading before bed a good night’s sleep.
Space is a good thing because you’re making room for the right thing to occupy it. Hopefully, one day, that space in your bed will be filled up with a new love that will be forever.
The bed has always been considered a very sacred place during a marriage. During your union, it was a place of rest (among other things). If you ended up getting the bed during the split, what do you do with the sheets?
A fabulous divorce ritual is getting rid of all of the old sheets from your old marriage. The bed is now yours and there’s nothing like spreading out on some fresh sheets and enjoying all of the new space you have again! Plus, you know when you’re on a business trip and can’t wait to get home into your own bed. Well, it is the same feeling after a divorce. Bringing in some new sheets is that first step to feeling like it’s your own bed again!
A friend asked me what she should do with the old sheets? Good question. How about throwing them in the garbage. They also can be useful to keep a bonfire going. How about cutting each sheet up into a big heart for loving yourself for getting through your divorce?
Start your new life with new sheets! Choose the color you want, the design you desire, and enjoy the freshness of a brand new set. Ah, a good night’s rest is a great way to start the single life! Sweet dreams